Healing Your Relationship With Money
Commitments One: I am committed to healing my relationship with money.
What Stands In the Way of Healing Your Relationship With Money?
This morning I met my friend LuAnne for coffee at Starbucks and I came home to find a yapping puppy locked in my dog’s crate and my dog locked in my bedroom.
Having spent a great deal of time and energy training my dog not to soil in the house, by using her crate as “home,” I was not happy to discover that she’d been placed in a situation where she could have had an accident, through no fault of her own.
Immediately, my attention was diverted away from getting my newsletter out and toward being resentful that my dog was placed in this situation and that the puppy had soiled the crate bedding. I found myself focusing on finding a better place for the puppy (the downstairs powder room, with a warm towel). But the yapping continued and I allowed myself to get caught up in the cacophony.
I called my friend Linda, a fellow crate-training dog-owner and spiritual traveler, and asked for help re-framing what the yapping represented.
“What are you writing about this issue?” she asked.
“Commitments One and Two on the path toward healing our relationships with money,” I replied. “It’s about being committed to clearing up anything that stands in the way of healing our money relationships.”
“Maybe the yapping dog represents all those things that we allow ourselves to be distracted by instead of staying focused on the work we’re trying to do, in order to heal our relationship with money,” she suggested.
Her words helped me recognize how I gave my power over to this situation, and how I chose to divert my energy. I resolved the immediate issue, put the puppy in a safer place, and put the bedding into the washer. Then I went back to my computer, put on some relaxing music, and began seeing the yapping as a reminder.
Yes, there are always going to be things that will distract us from our goal of healing our relationships with money. It will always be easier to focus on those things instead of focusing on the places where we need healing. And we will always have good excuses for why we didn’t get around to the work we “wanted” to do. We had good intentions, after all, right?
The drawback with good intentions is that they will always remain intentions. They will always be “something I meant to do, but…” The only way to turn an intention into a goal is to consciously commit to it. The only way to turn your intention to heal your relationship with money into actual healing is to concretely outline the goal.
What is it, exactly, that you want to do? Do you want to stop living paycheck to paycheck? Do you want to stop feeling like you don’t have enough? Do you want to stop feeling like you can’t afford the things you want to do, be or have for yourself and your loved ones? Do you want to stop feeling indebted to others? Do you want to stop arguing about how money is spent in your home? Do you want to start feeling more comfortable about giving and receiving money?
You probably have a number of these intentions floating around in your head, and they’re very good intentions. Country music singer Travis Tritt has a ballad called “The Best of Intentions.” Hearing the song, I visualized him making a commitment to his spouse, carrying through on that commitment throughout the years, occasionally falling short as we all do, but expressing the fact that even when he fell short his intentions were pure.
Then one day I saw the video. The video unfolds with Travis playing a man who is in and out of jail, expressing remorse for all the times he let his wife down. He had the best of intentions, but he never took any actions toward making a commitment to stop putting himself in situations that would land him in jail.
Many of us state our intention to get out of debt. But we don’t make a commitment to stop putting ourselves in situations that add to our debt. Instead, especially during the holiday season, we rationalize every time we spend more money than we truly want to. What stops us from honoring our commitment to ourselves?
Fear. It always comes back to fear. We’re afraid other people will think we’re cheap. Or we’re afraid someone will buy us something more expensive than what we bought them. Or we’re afraid our children will think poorly of us if we don’t buy them what they asked for.
We use the fear to put up obstacles to our commitment. This way we can avoid facing the fear. Instead, we can point to the obstacles and say things like “I would have, but…” or “I was going to, but…”
Paula Langguth Ryan is a contemporary prosperity advisor, author and motivational speaker. She is devoted to helping people release their limiting beliefs — so they may achieve personal prosperity and abundance in all areas of their lives. If this booklet fed your soul, tithes and offerings are gratefully accepted to support the continuation of this work: Paula Langguth Ryan, 1121 Annapolis Road, Suite 120, Odenton, MD 21113.